Monday, November 3, 2008

Charting your course

When I was pregnant, my baby shower theme was Beatrix Potter. I decorated the nursery with all the new goodies and paged through the baby book-blank pages just waiting for me to record all the details of height and weight, eye color, hair color, etc. I was going to be better at it than my mom. I would record every single moment!

Of course, that nursery was empty for months while my baby struggled at the hospital. And those pages were blank for a long time... I had other things to worry about. When I finally did get a chance to breathe and page through it again, all I could see were the blanks that would remain that way......for a long time. How long would it be until she rolled over? Would she ever take her first steps? Would there ever be a first word?

It took awhile to dream new dreams, but we got there eventually. There WERE important milestones to record, they just may not have been in the standard baby book: the day she was weaned off her night drip feedings; the day she got her Mickey button instead of a foley catheter; the day she took a walk in the neighborhood with her oversized Riley red wagon..... If you read Erma Bombeck, you realize that you will probably notice all the little things that other mothers miss. You will recognize them for the miracle they are b/c they didn't come as easily for your child. So take time to celebrate them. Make your own baby book, or shop for the few that exist.

As much as you might like to burn the original baby book, there are milestones you should be looking for. If you don't have a diagnosis yet, but you know "something's not right", there are developmental checklists you can look at to see how your baby is progressing. Every child is different, so allow for a little wiggle room, but if you suspect there's something that needs to be addressed, talk to your child's doctor about it. If they don't act on it the way you'd like, seek a second opinion. Early intervention is shown to really help, so the sooner you can start, the better.

We'll talk more about managing the paper trail in future posts, but be sure to keep records and develop your child's medical history. You can find a care notebook here if you'd like a sample of what to record.

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