Spring in Indiana: IEP season

My friends’ Facebook status updates, twitters and blog posts reflect a spring time ritual for families across Indiana: it is IEP season.  There are several excellent resources supporting families in preparing to advocate and you may have already read many of them.  I would highly recommend that every parent seek out high quality special education law trainings to ensure that you are armed with an understanding of your rights and of the processes involved.  

But, beyond all the reading, planning and record reviewing, another part of this spring ritual rings loudly from my fellow “Holland” parents: the need to plan for stress.  A recent status thread reflecting on the case conference that day read more like a high end cocktail menu as moms shared their “post IEP” drink of choice.    Another friend prepped for the big case conference day by stocking up on Godiva ice cream.  Still others budget in post-IEP stress shopping. 

As my kids have grown and we have truly had good school partnerships, I am struck by the fact that even “easy” IEPs are stressful for parents.  We haven’t had a major disagreement with our school in years; our services are great and our children are flourishing; yet IEPs still leave me wiped out.  The stress is not a result of conflict, and it is not a result of lack of advocacy experience or skill, but it is still there.  I also like to think that I’m fully aware of my children’s disabilities and their impacts so IEP meetings are not bringing new upsetting information. 

The cause of IEP strife and stress is not mysterious: as parents we love and treasure our children; and a meeting dedicated to their deficit driven needs is not, by definition, fun. 

So, I say we should all embrace our need for coping.  Case conferences should be followed by lunch with a good friend where you can vent, complain, eat yummy food that you didn’t fix, and maybe even have that cocktail.  If shopping is your vice of choice, your spring budget should include “case conference money”.  Chocolate should be available for those that need it.   As for me, you’ll find me at the Mexican restaurant with a margarita!