I wish my child was unconditionally accepted, like her non disabled peers, but as a society, we're not there yet. When my child was little, an experienced mom told me that if I hoped for the world to include my child, I was going to have to include her myself. Even though it was easier to go shopping without toting a wheelchair and medical equipment with me, I needed to take her with me. I needed to have the community see her and hopefully, accept her. I knew I was making progress when I would go shopping on my own and her friends would ask where she was. If I answered that she was at home, they would quickly dismiss me and disappear down an aisle.
When I was young, we didn't see children with disabilities in school and the community. I'm not sure where they were. I was oblivious to the fact that they even existed. I don't want that for my child. I don't want her "hidden" in some separate classroom. I want her to have the same opportunities and experiences as her non disabled peers.
I know this isn't easy. The schools have "special" buildings for "kids like her." Many of the places we go aren't accessible for a child with a wheelchair. But, if I want those situations to change, I'm going to have to be an agent of change myself. I need to advocate for accessible parks, playgrounds and schools. I need to involve her in the community: at library programs, at parks programs, at the YMCA.
Future posts will address issues like self advocacy and people first language. As parents, we can't rely on someone else to embrace these issues, we have to. If we don't want others to use inappropriate language to describe our children, then we shouldn't be using it ourselves. If we want our children to live independent lives as adults, we need to foster that independence.
As Gandhi said: we have to be the change we wish to see in the world.
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