What is inclusion?

Looking back, I frequently wish I had done things differently. When my child aged out of First Steps, I looked into community preschools first b/c I wantedher to be included with her peers. However, the fact that she uses a wheelchair, communication devices, and has extensive medical needs "freaked out" the preschool directors. They made it clear that she was not welcome. Needless to say, that was heartbreaking. I knew it was wrong for them to exclude her, but I also feared that there would be repercussions if I pushed to MAKE them do it anyway. I wasn't willing to use her to advance my personal belief system, so I agreed to the segregated developmental preschool. In theory, she should have been highly successful there with all the needed supports in place. That wasn't the case. I had to fight for an adapted trike, for an accessible computer, for an adapted swing-in a school that serves ONLY children with disabilities I wasn't happy; my child wasn't happy either. While she struggled with communication and social skills, so did her entire class. There were no good communication partners, no role models, etc. When she transitioned to kindergarten I made it clear that segregation would not be an option and she was placed in a general education classroom. She remained in a gen ed classroom for the following years. We were lucky. Many children never "get out" of a segregated special education classroom-they stay there their mentire school career. It's important to think of your vision for your child, as I mentioned in a previous post. If you want them to be part of a community, to be independent,etc, then you need to lay that foundation as early as possible. I wish I had stood my ground for preschool. If the community preschools wouldn't accept her, I should have kept her home and found "mom's day out" and other programs for her to be with non disabled peers. I'm sharing this so others can learn from my mistakes.If you let the schools bully you at age 3, they will continue to make choices for you instead of with you. You will hear me discuss inclusion on a regular basis-so let's start with what it is: What is Inclusion? by Jack Pearpoint & Marsha Forest People genuinely ask us, "What is Inclusion - really?" We have found a simple way to answer this question for groups and workshops. We explain that we believe everyone already knows the answer. In their hearts and from their life experience, people really do understand the difference between Inclusion and Exclusion. They just need to be reminded of what they already know. Then we say: "Think of a time when you felt really outside, excluded. What words come to mind?" Generally words like these flow from people's hearts: "awful, lonely, scared, sad, mad, unhappy, miserable, depressed, etc." "Now think of a time you felt really welcomed, really included . How did you feel then?" Answers are usually words like: "happy, terrific, loved, great, wonderful, important, thrilled, warm, healthy, etc." The responses are universal. The answers are the same for children of all ages, people of all lands, tall & short, old & young, male & female. When people are included, they feel welcome; they feel good; they feel healthy. When people are excluded, they feel 'bad'. Inclusion is the precondition for learning, happiness - for healthy living. Exclusion is the precondition for misery, loneliness and trouble. We know teenagers often choose to die - rather than be alone. We know kids join gangs rather than be seen as "outside" the mainstream. Belonging is NOT incidental - it is primary to our existence. Thus, for us, Exclusion kills - physically and/or spiritually. "Killing the pain" of Exclusion is a learned skill. Adults often choose a "living death" by numbing the pain with alcohol, drugs, obsessions - to "override" the anguish of Exclusion. Inclusion is the foundation of the house. It is not a guarantee, but rather a precondition for the growth and development of full and healthy human beings. That is how we "define" Inclusion . Dictionaries also help. "Included" - as defined in the Random House College Dictionary is an adjective meaning "contained in; embraced". In Roget's Thesaurus (4th Edition) - inclusive of - means "with". Inclusion is a wonderful word. It is about embracing humanity and figuring out how we are going to live WITH one another in the challenging years to come.