Dealing with stress

This time of year can be especially stressful. Parenting children with disabilities presents special challenges. There are many stressors associated with raising a child with a disability: parent guilt; worry about the future; parents' perception that other people think they may be the cause of the problem; feeling a need to protect their child; disagreement between parents about dealing with the child; disagreement between parents about the existence of a problem; increased financial burden; finding competent professional services; sibling resentment of attention given the child with disabilities, etc.

There are programs that might help. If you need a break, ask a family member or friend to watch your child/ren. If they aren't available, see if there is respite available in your area. If you're on the waiting list for any of the developmental Medicaid waivers (DD, Autism, Support Services) ask your local Bureau of Developmental Disabilities office for caregiver support. This can provide a limited number of respite hours each month. If you're concerned about leaving your child with a "stranger", many agencies let you find your own respite person that they then train and hire. There are also agencies that provide respite, or a parent's night out. In the central Indiana region, Easter Seals Crossroads has a program. You might check to see if any agencies in your area offer something similar. Sometimes service organizations offer respite to specific populations. Ask around and see if any near you might be interested in this much needed service.

If the situation in your home has reached crisis level, and you really need help, you can also contact: Crisis Assistance Services
Crisis Assistance Services provides specific supports to people with developmental disabilities with extreme behavioral or psychiatric issues.
Crisis Assistance Services include:
▪ 24/7/365 Telephone Crisis Support
▪ In-Home Technical Assistance
▪ Out-of-Home Short Term Residential
▪ Follow-Along Post Crisis Intervention

Northern Indiana - 1-866-416-4774
Central Indiana - 1-866-920-3272
Western and Southern Indiana - 1-866-416-4774

It's often hard to ask for help, or to take the time to care for yourself. Doctors often think of caregivers as “hidden patients”. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of your loved one. When caregiving is really getting you down:

• try to figure out what is bothering you (no time for yourself, nobody to talk to about it)
• find someone empathetic to talk to (a friend, relative, therapist, cleric)
• do something you enjoy (watch a movie on TV, go for a walk)
• take care of yourself (have a nice long bath, take a snooze)
• have a good laugh (It will make you feel better)
• consider using meditation or yoga to reduce stress
• get professional help if you need it (a counselor, therapist or psychiatrist)

When you are feeling down, try not to be discouraged or wracked with guilt. It is not possible to remain happy all the time particularly when over-burdened with responsibilities. It's also not possible to meet all of your child's needs-ask for help.