Surviving the Holidays

The holidays are a fun and exciting time. But sometimes, holiday festivities and get-togethers can be a recipe for disaster for a child with special needs. Extra lights, extra noise, extra people, extra food and an extreme deviation from your daily schedule can make the holidays miserable, rather than enjoyable, for your child. Throw in the stress you feel for your child and perhaps, all the opinions you receive about child-rearing and the holiday parties can turn miserable for you too. Here are a few simple tips to help your family survive this holiday season.

Have an escape plan. Have a timetable in mind as to how long you plan to stay at a party. Know that you can stay longer if things are going well, but be ready to go at a moment’s notice when your child has had enough. If you are traveling and staying overnight, consider getting a hotel room rather than staying with family or friends. This provides your child a safe, quiet space to decompress after a party. If you’re hosting family for the holidays, make your child’s room is off limits to everyone except him/her and encourage your child to use it as a refuge to get away from everyone.

Opt out of the holiday clothing. If your child has sensitivities to certain clothing or textures or simply prefers to wear a favorite outfit, don’t fight the clothing battle. Even if you’re risking a disapproving comment or glance from a grandparent or friend, it’s more important that your child be comfortable and to start the day with as little stress as possible. Besides,
if a spill occurs, you’ll be the only parent at the table who isn’t worried about a possible stain!

Augment the menu. Whether you’re taking a dish to share at someone else’s party or are hosting a group in your own home, take something you know your child will eat. The holidays don’t have to be about trying new foods or cleaning a plate. The holidays should be about giving thanks, even if your child is only giving thanks for chicken nuggets or macaroni
and cheese on that particular day!

Be the one who watches the kids. By being the supervisory adult, you can keep a close eye on your little one. You can break up playmate squabbles and judge when your child might be reaching their stimulation limit. You can also avoid conversation with other adults if you’re receiving a judgmental eye or hearing a constant stream of child-rearing advice.

Bring supplies. Pack a bag or backpack full of familiar toys and activities your child enjoys. You don’t necessarily need to pull them out right away, but if needed you have them. If your child becomes over stimulated, finding a quiet corner with a familiar toy may be soothing.

Beware of bribes. Beware the big bribe for good behavior at a holiday party. It may only add to your child’s stress if they’re afraid of losing the incentive for bad behavior. Usually, small spontaneous rewards throughout the occasion are much more effective.

Prepare, prepare, prepare. Prepare your child for the event by explaining where you’re going, who will be there and what will happen while you’re there. Give as much detail as you think appropriate. Give them a strategy or two to help them if they begin to feel overwhelmed (i.e. finding that quiet corner with a book or toy). Try and think ahead,as much as possible, about any other hurdles that may cause a problem for your child.

You can’t plan for everything, but following these tips may help make the holidays go a little smoother for all, and keep that happy, loving holiday spirit going throughout the season.
(First Words 11/05)